Diabetes & Me

I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in 2015. I had always suspected that it was coming. My Dad had been diagnosed some years previous and my Grandmother had it too. My lifestyle didn't help much either.

In my youth I had always been sporty, I played football, a lot, but was no more than a player with average ability. No matter how desperate I was to be a famous footballer I knew I'd never make a career out of it.

I was a good swimmer, but not as good as my Dad who had represented the army and was a record holder in the backstroke that stood for over 20 years.

I was also a good runner at middle and long distances, but missing out on the area cross country team in the regional trials by one place and less than 10 metres was a disappointment that forced me to consider the effort I was putting into it. I gave up on the cross country team and continued to run half marathon events, purely for my own personal achievement.

As I turned 16, things were about to change when I left school and discovered beer and cigarettes. I was still playing football for local pub teams so didn't appreciate the potential damage I could be causing myself in later life, after all, I'm going to be young forever right?

From 18-25 I also played in a band, performing in smoky pubs and clubs while trying to hold down numerous day jobs. The band attracted the interest of a record label and we were asked to provide more samples of our music. We went back into the studio to produce what would become our final recordings and presented the tape to our management company, only to be informed that the record company had come to a decision to change musical direction and were no longer interested.

This was a huge blow. Seven years of hard work doing something that I loved and had committed to for longer than anything else. The feeling that we had made it, no more day jobs, a life of touring the world. Gone. 

I knew I couldn't continue with the dream and decided that I needed to grow up and join the mainstream of the career driven. So, I gave up my job in a printing factory, quit the band and enrolled on a foundation degree in science and engineering at a local university. 4 years later, I graduated with a BSc (Hons) in Construction Management.

Fast forward 12 years and I was carving out a steady, if unremarkable career as a Project Manager for a building and civil engineering company, working my way up from site engineer to managing multi million pound  building projects.

Married with two kids, my lifestyle, save for a weekly round of golf, was sedentary at best. I still had a good drink at the weekend and I never took particular attention to what I was eating. I was also gaining weight. I saw my Dad collapse with pancreatitis on New Years Eve that necessitated a stay in hospital for weeks and yet I didn't see it as a warning.

Towards the end of 2012 I had been appointed to lead a team of 28 staff and over 120 labour operatives on the civil engineering works of an Energy from Waste plant. The hours were long and hard, such were the demands of a difficult and often unreasonable client. Starting at 7am and frequently returning home after a 25 mile drive past 10pm stress levels were high.

I was captive on the site for up to 15 hours a day, counting the hours until 5pm when everyone would go home and leave me alone to complete the work I had been unable to start during the normal working day. Demands on my time from the client, my own staff, and the various subcontractors and suppliers were only interrupted by lunch. The site had its own subsidised canteen. It had to be - you would never pay full price for the unhealthy choice that was on offer. 5 times a week! Then on the way home, McDonalds or KFC were the only source of food at the end of the day.

For two years I endured a lifestyle that was unhealthy, stressful, and unrewarding. I also maintained a deep sense of guilt at not being with my family, my wife being left out as I gave what little of my time to the kids, and finding it hard to adjust to being around them on a weekend. I was at breaking point and in the defence of my company I had refuted allegations of poor performance of my staff in writing. I felt that I was constantly having to make a stand against individuals who had made the last 2 years of my life miserable. I suppose I was standing up to a form of bullying that has long been accepted in the industry. It didn't go down well and I was asked to leave the site. The relief was tangible and instead of accepting my offer to resign my position my employer's placed me in the regional office as Contracts Manager - a promotion!!

In April 2015 I was asked by my local GP to attend a well man clinic where I would undergo a series of health checks including blood pressure and blood tests. One week later I was asked to return for further blood tests and was informed that I had developed type 2 diabetes. It didn't mean that much to me at the time. I knew my Dad had it but he'd been ill with pancreatitis. Was there a link? Well, actually, yes.

I had known people with Type 1 diabetes and the requirement for injecting insulin to prevent the risk of hypos, and on sites we had been taught to recognise the signs of someone experiencing a diabetic episode, but that was it. I didn't know anything about the consequences of ignoring the disease and the horrific affects it can have on people, not only the person but the family and friends. Blindness, ulcers, amputations - when I attended the first couple of clinics arranged by the GP I was shocked. There was no way I wanted to be taking statins for my cholesterol, metformin to control my blood sugar, or warfarin for my blood pressure. I had to do something about it - now!

My lifestyle had caught up with me and the carefree 16 year old, drinking under age, smoking and living on a diet of pizza and kebabs was now a 45 year old man at risk of becoming very ill if I didn't take action.

First I enrolled on a smoking cessation clinic and attended an appointment with a dietician. I dusted my old mountain bike off and wheezed my way around the village, clocking approximately 2 miles and suffering with leg wobble at the end. I also started running each morning before work, about one and a half miles at first with a rest half the way through before making a steady increase to 3 miles a day. Within a year I was running a mile in eight and a half minutes! 

I had also steadily increased my range on the bike and had plotted a 15 mile route that was reasonably flat with what I considered was a horrendous hill at about 10 miles. One Sunday morning, as I struggled for air as I pedalled up that god awful hill, a man passed me at a pace. The man said good morning and I realised he wasn't out of breath! He also looked like he was in his 70's and had passed me as if I was stood still! He was on a road bike, a sleek, aerodynamic, fast machine with all the gearing to assist the rider to climb the toughest hills. Not a chunky, knobbly tyre, designed for off road machine that I was riding. I had to get one!

It was the best decision I had made in years and gave me the confidence to set a goal, to achieve something that one year previous I would have considered to be impossible. I was going to enter the Prudential Ride London Surrey 100. A 100 mile cycle ride setting off from Queen Elizabeth in Stratford that takes you through the centre of London and out through Richmond Park into the Surrey Hills, before returning to London and a spectacular finish on The Mall in front of Buckingham Palace. I just needed to train for it now...

Sunday 31st July 2016 was a warm day. My start wave was 8.40am and I needed to be in Stratford at least one hour prior. I was up at six that morning and after a hotel breakfast of corn flakes and a pot of porridge I left my sleeping wife and kids in the room and set off from the Travelodge in Southwark through the quiet streets. As I approached the Olympic Park, I was joined by more and more cyclists and I was buzzing with excitement. Just 15 months ago I couldn't have made the 7 miles from Southwark to Stratford and now I was about to take on a 100!

After the long wait to the start line, I set off at an easy pace, just wanting to ensure I got around. I was riding for Diabetes UK and with the support of family, friends and work colleagues, had raised over £1200.00. I couldn't disappoint them.

The ride was eventful. One man had a heart attack and passed away during the ride, another had an accident so bad that we were held up for an hour while he was airlifted to hospital. I saw other crashes and lots of blood but in comparison to the 25,000 participants the rate of incidents was small.

The whole day was fantastic with incredible support around the entire course from members of the public, but the ride down The Mall with huge crowds thumping the side barriers was incredible and quite simply the best experience I have ever had. That my wife Mandy, and Jack & Faye, my kids were their at the end to share in my triumph made for one of the most special days I will ever have.

I seemed to have got to grips with having Type 2 Diabetes. During my training and leading up to the London ride I had lost 3 stones and my health checks were showing blood sugar and cholesterol levels of a non-diabetic. But it wasn't with some darker times both before and after the ride.

I started to feel low. I can't even remember when but it was a feeling I had never experienced and one I still get every so often but not to the extent of the first time. I felt overwhelmed, like everything was too much, with the simplest of activities leading to extreme frustration and upset. I felt I wasn't being listened to at home and even our dogs were higher priority than me. I was the boss at work but couldn't get away from a feeling of people plotting behind my back, talking about me, or just setting me up for failure. None of this was true of course (I hope!!) but it was an awful experience all the same. Then one day I just didn't want to get out of bed. I rang work and told them I was unwell. I did the same the day after and the day after that. Something was wrong and I was getting upset over the smallest of things. I visited my Doctor and was advised to read books on "Wellness". So, at a time when I couldn't be bothered to do anything I was being advised to read! And read I did. But not the Wellness book. I was looking for answers and stumbled across an article on a diabetes website forum all about "Diabetes Anxiety". The symptoms matched and it was a common complaint among newly diagnosed diabetics. It stems from the added pressure of trying to control a disease that is termed progressive, i.e. it doesn't just happen, the disease develops as long as you are not in control of it. The pressure is trying to control it, to manage your diet, whether it's by counting calories or trying to keep to low carb meals. Additional activities that have been introduced to your already busy day. Trying to fit in the exercise around work, family, sleep, it just gets too much and this is what happened to me. It's hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it or known someone who has gone through it but it is a real complaint and it was only when I read posts from other sufferers that I was able to understand what was happening to me and I could climb out of the rut I was in. I was off work for three weeks and my employers were thankfully understanding of my situation. During those three weeks I wouldn't have been at all surprised if my wife had up and left me, I was such a pain to live with but she stood by me and I'll always be grateful for that. I still get little episodes every now and again, where I will feel anxious or depressed but it doesn't last and as long as I know that I'll be ok.

This will be my 4th year as a type 2 diabetic and I'd like to say I still have everything under control. I haven't, and we all have a wobble from time to time. A series of injuries to my shoulder, back and knee has prevented me from continuing the level of training I was undertaking in 2016. My eating habits have not been good and while I had not given up the beer altogether consumption has increased over the past year. Now that Christmas is over I'm taking stock and I'm planning to get on track. Over the coming weeks and months I'll be updating my blog with posts on how I'm getting on. Subscribe to my site to receive the latest news to your inbox.

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